Fear of Being Alone (Autophobia): ​​Characteristics, Causes, Symptoms, Treatment

The Fear of being alone emerging from the feeling of abandonment, also called loneliness or isolation, occurs mainly about human losses, separation, the death of life partners, parents, children, closest confidants, and spiritual leaders.

It is an expression of an often elementary disturbance of mental balance, which was based on an intense connection with another person, on his constant natural or spiritual existence, on its irreplaceable meaning for his balance as an interlocutor, as a recipient of intimate thoughts or in its meaning as a point of spiritual orientation.


The fear of being alone or being alone generally occurs in people when they have lived a lifetime with a partner or partner or when, as time passes, people realize that they have achieved various personal and professional goals, Minus the consolidation of a relationship that could indicate that the rest of your life will be alone.

Considering these premises, some characteristics emerge that may indicate the fear of alone coming from.

  • An almost unbearable feeling of abandonment arises through experiences of separation in love relationships when fatal accidents or incurable diseases fall into the first period of strongest infatuation.
  • But even the death of a long-term partner sometimes seems to make life miserable.
  • A seemingly obvious activity carried out with enthusiasm can only be continued mechanically or completely abandoned; areas of life are neglected and atrophied when the decisive person in whose presence “things shone” no longer exists.
  • The feeling of abandonment in its various forms is the social nature of man, who can only lead a meaningful life in direct interaction with or with other people.
  • The narrower the interpersonal base based on one’s character or particular circumstances, the more difficult it is to make the necessary changes after losses.
  • Some people are dominated by the feeling that they will lose all their loved ones and that their destiny is to be abandoned or remain alone.

Causes and symptoms

Causes and symptoms

Depression and anxiety

  • In medicine, depression by neglect is a symptom that can occur in children in particular and adults as a result of negligence.
  • Such separation can also lead to a form of hospitalism in children.
  • The feeling of abandonment is related to a crisis of meaning or a permanent emptying of meaning and corresponds to the loss of spiritual and spiritual home.
  • Adults are often prone to social isolation and depressive states (depression).
  • In connection with the personality disorder called “Borderline,” desperate efforts are made to protect oneself from real or feared neglect.
  • The depression of abandonment is accompanied by a complex of different effects that can lead to raging anger, panic and helplessness, complete hopelessness, inner emptiness, and an existential feeling of need.
  • The fear of being alone, of being abandoned, is a feeling of fear of separation. For example, the absence of signs of the presence of a caregiver is mainly considered.
  • This biologically primordial state serves not to lose or restore vital contact with the secure base.
  • It is mainly expressed in young children through behaviors such as crying or yelling.
  • Among the fears of abandonment is also the feeling of jealousy and the anxiety associated with separation.


  • Sometimes people feel abandoned in their faith and by God due to personal loss.
  • An early example of this form of abandonment of God is the crucified Jesus of Nazareth, whose last words he spoke before death were reproduced in Mark’s Passion Report.

Elements involved

Most people like to be alone sometimes, but sometimes they fear even short periods of loneliness. The scientific term autophobia manifests itself when the person feels that he is not taken into account and has no one with whom to share his life experiences. It is inevitable to feel this way, even more, when you think that you have been left alone. Fortunately, with determination, perseverance, and the proper support, you can learn to overcome this problem.

Assess the severity of the fear

  • Having your symptoms under control will guide you to the best treatments and show you how much you can work on yourself and this fear without the risk of physical deterioration.

Fear and lack of self-control

  • A response that can attract as a consequence manifests extreme fear caused by the anxiety of feeling alone.
  • People must know how to differentiate between the fear of being alone and the danger posed by not knowing how we can react to that fear.
  • The escape from loneliness is endured with intense anxiety and anguish.
  • Avoidance, anxious anticipation, or alone anguish significantly disrupt your routine, professional (or academic) role, or social contacts and relationships.

Anguish over the autopsy itself.

  • Listen to your doubts.
  • There may be a fear of being alone that torments you daily.
  • Perhaps you are afraid that they will see you as a loner or antisocial and weird.
  • This fear can also turn into a negative factor over time.
  • Focusing on future projects can also help distract your fear of loneliness.
  • If you do it this way, you will have more reason to engage in a life project instead of thinking about the fear of being alone.


Therapists assure that people who suffer from the fear of feeling alone and isolated should be much more careful in how they relate since, generally people who feel lonely develop other worries such as the fear of falling in love or fear of change, among some Recommended treatments are:

  • Try to be realistic about what others need from you, reflecting your ability to care for yourself.
  • You may also think of other close people who can support you, or perhaps the fact that you were doing well before you met.
  • You should be careful because if you focus on giving love and attention, wanting to receive the same can generate a conflict that will not help treat your problems when you are alone.
  • Ironically, this trend prevents you from focusing on others in a meaningful way.

Define specific objectives

  • For example, you can decide to spend 15 minutes alone without calling anyone, sending SMS or instant messages, and for as long as you need to process those 15 minutes.
  • This process could take place four times a week.
  • Gradually expose yourself to fear and consider how significant your fear is.
  • Go slowly. Take the time you need to assimilate this process.
  • Plan to be alone for short periods.
  • Little by little, you will want to plan more time to be alone until you are no longer overwhelmed by fear.
  • Try to create a hierarchy in which you rate anxiety situations on a scale of 0 to 100 according to the level of anxiety.
  • For example, you might rate it as 100 if you spend an hour alone at home, but if you go to the movies only at age 70, this rating allows you to work to overcome more significant fears as a less threatening fear diminishes.

Expose yourself to fear

  • Try to expose yourself to a menial fear.
  • As you begin this therapy, you may experience nervousness and anxiety, but you will feel comfortable with the results over time.
  • After some very unpleasant attempts, this is a way of signaling to yourself that you are capable of spending time alone.
  • Exposing yourself to fear also helps you think more about the fear behind the initial panic.
  • Don’t worry too much about the panic you feel and the stress on your body.
  • You are likely to experience common symptoms of fear, so don’t worry. You will get over it as you progress through therapy.
  • The more time you spend alone, the more anxious, you will be.
  • But if you do expose yourself to it, the fear is to be expected and will diminish over time.
  • Gently go beyond your limits until you are happy with the amount of time you can spend alone.

Calm your mind

Calm your mind

  • Since exposing yourself to your fear can be so stressful, you want a reliable way to distract yourself right now.
  • Try reciting a few lines from a poem, mental arithmetic, or whispering encouraging phrases to yourself, for example, “This feeling will pass. I’ve done it before.”
  • Remember, the less you use your crutch, the more intense it will be when exposed to fear.

Tips to overcome the fear of being alone

  • Be direct about your needs in the relationship.
  • Change your habits so that you are no longer blindly addressing others but determining what you need from them.
  • You will probably realize that they don’t need to be together all the time or have as much commitment as you might have thought.

Practice mindfulness

  • Before you can react to your urge to call someone or plan your day so that you always have others around you, take some time.
  • Write down what drives you into a whirlwind of anxiety that you have no one around you.
  • Try to understand what you are feeling and accept it gently without trying to get rid of it.
  • This will improve your ability to downshift and think about it again the next time you want to escape from yourself by being with others.
  • Other relaxation and stress relief strategies are lovely for your ability to cope with them.
  • Sports, especially cardiovascular activities like swimming and running, release endorphins and other chemicals that improve mood.
  • Meditation, yoga, and mindful breathing are more relaxed ways to reduce anxiety and control urges to act out of necessity.


  • To boost your self-confidence on the dangerous path of overcoming autophobia, imagine in your mind what you want for yourself.
  • Imagine yourself walking confidently and successfully alone in situations and developing an appreciation for what it feels like to be independent.
  • Being more confident and self-reliant, YOU will be more tempted to want to become the person who can see so clearly.

Seek advice

  • Therapy provides a safe framework in which the root problems that cause autophobia can be explored and overcome.
  • A specialist can serve as an advisor during this trip.
  • The support of the people you generally share can help you overcome fear.
  • Exchanging ideas with other people who also have the same condition, I can positively help you do not rule out this possibility.
  • Knowing that you are not alone by not wanting to be alone opens your eyes and offers you the opportunity to give practical advice.

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Hello, how are you? My name is Georgia Tarrant, and I am a clinical psychologist. In everyday life, professional obligations seem to predominate over our personal life. It's as if work takes up more and more of the time we'd love to devote to our love life, our family, or even a moment of leisure.