Sex Therapy – How It Works And Helps, Strategies And Effectiveness

Sexual health is an essential part of overall physical and emotional well-being, but if you have a sexual problem the last thing you probably want to do is talk about it, if embarrassment prevents you from seeking help, know this: 43 percent of women women and 31 percent of men report some degree of sexual dysfunction or disorder . The sex therapy is designed to get to the bottom of sexual problems, such as shame, and reverse.

Most of us will have a problem with sex at some point in our lives, some people deal with this on their own, but for others, sexual problems can cause a lot of distress and unhappiness and require professional help.

What is sex therapy?

It is a strategy for the improvement of sexual function and the treatment of sexual dysfunction, this includes premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, lack of interest or sexual arousal and painful sex (vaginismus and dyspareunia). It includes dealing with problems imposed by atypical sexual interests (paraphilias), gender dysphoria and transgender problems, very high sexual desire or hypersexuality, lack of sexual confidence, recovery from a sexual assault, and sexual problems in aging, illness, or disability.

It is a form of counseling intended to help individuals and couples resolve sexual difficulties, such as performance anxiety or relationship problems. Clients generally meet in the therapist’s office, some choosing to attend sessions only; others bring their partner with them. The frequency and duration of the session generally depends on the client and the type of problem involved.

It is normal for clients to feel anxious when seeing a sex therapist, especially for the first time. Many people have trouble talking about sex so talking to a stranger can seem awkward, however most sex therapists acknowledge this and try to make their clients feel comfortable, they start with questions about health and sex. sexual origin, sex education, beliefs about sex, and client’s specific sexual concerns.

It is important to know that sex therapy sessions do not involve any physical contact or sexual activity between clients and therapists. Clients who are uncomfortable with any aspect of therapy should speak to or stop seeing that particular therapist.

Sex therapists generally assign homework, hands-on activities that clients must complete in the privacy of their own home.

Such a task may include the following:

• Experimentation. Couples who feel like they are in a sexual routine can try different activities, such as role play or using sex toys, to increase their desire. Other couples may need to adjust their sexual routine or positions, especially if a couple has a health condition that requires such changes.

• Sensible approach. This couples technique is designed to build trust and intimacy while reducing anxiety, couples progress through three stages, beginning with non-sexual contact, progressing to genital touching, and generally ending with penetration.

• Education. Sometimes clients do not receive proper sex education as they grow up. As a result, they may not know the anatomy and how the body works during sexual activity, therapists may assign books or web content to read or videos to watch, they may also suggest that they use a mirror to learn more about their body.

• Communication strategies. Clients can practice asking for what they want or need sexually or emotionally in a relationship.

Success with sex therapy often depends on how committed clients are to the process. If clients are willing to push themselves, either alone or with a partner, they can achieve their sexual goals.

How effective is sex therapy?

The best scientific evidence for the effectiveness of sex therapy is in treating orgasm problems, sexual aversion (finding unpleasant sex), and vaginismus. There is not much scientific support for the efficacy of sex therapy alone in treating low sex drive unless it is primarily due to relationship problems or other emotional or psychological factors.

Keep in mind that sex therapy or counseling can be beneficial simply by guiding you and your partner to refocus on intimacy and sexuality. In clinical studies of various drugs for female sexual problems, groups of women who received placebo therapy experienced improvements of up to 30% in their sexual function throughout the study, suggesting that simply paying more attention to sexuality, as they do Women enrolling in a clinical trial, or when couples seek counseling together, can have positive effects even when active treatment is not used.

Sex therapy interventions and strategies

Sex therapists can offer a variety of interventions that can help a patient reconnect emotionally and sexually with their partner. Common strategies include:

Help the patient develop realistic and appropriate goals. Patients may need help understanding female and male sexual responses and what arouses them as individuals, they may not have explored their sexual responses, they may pretend to have orgasms, they may be anxious or inhibited about their sexuality, or they may be involved. in an established pattern of sexual activity that does not arouse or satisfy them. Education about a sexual problem is the first step in the treatment process and helps the patient to better define their needs, goals, and expectations.

Exploration of sexual fantasies. Fantasizing about sex is a good step to recharge your desire. Sex therapists may recommend the use of erotic books or videos to stimulate fantasies, and sharing fantasies with a partner can improve communication in relationships about what a woman finds exciting and can help a couple relive a sexual script or repertoire. bored.

Identify contextual catalysts for sexual activity. Review of the context in which sexual activity typically occurs in a woman’s life, the sexual script including the time of day, the interval between sexual encounters, and the way a partner indicates their desire for intimacy can be used by the sex therapist to make recommendations on how to increase sexual desire, arousal, and satisfaction.

Location exercises. These exercises are designed to help a patient recall instances in their life when they felt sexy and had a good and satisfying level of sexual desire, in which their physical appearance, surroundings, smells in the air should be remembered. , the music you were listening to and the foods you were eating at the time, and use them as “clues” to feel sexually now.

Assignment of sensory focus exercises. These behavioral exercises involve a partner taking turns pleasing each other so that each person has a greater awareness of what types of touch are most exciting and can pass that information on to their partner. Sensory focus can be genital and non-genital in nature, beginning with a limited sensual massage of the face, hands, and neck, and progressing over time to include intercourse. In fact, to reduce “performance anxiety” and help the couple establish emotional intimacy, the exercises are not goal-oriented.

Teaching the practice of mindfulness. Most people have become multifaceted in an effort to keep up with everyday life, they can take this approach to their sex life and rush out of focus through intercourse, leaving little room for arousal, the sufficient enjoyment or satisfaction. Women with arousal and desire disorders are particularly vulnerable to distraction from stressors during sexual encounters.

Mindfulness practice teaches the patient to focus on the here and now and all his sensations: sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste, and to push away distracting thoughts. The technique can be particularly helpful in educating a woman about how her body responds to sexual stimuli.

Exploring alternative forms of sexual expression. This may include education on sensual massage, fondling, mutual masturbation, manual, oral, and anal stimulation techniques, use of sex toys (vibrators), and attempting alternative sexual positions (other than the missionary position).

Address sexual boredom. A couple who have been together for many years falls into a sexual routine that is unimaginative and boring, often called a sexual routine, which can reduce desire. A sex therapist can offer a number of suggestions to relive this type of life, such as changing the place for sex (taking it out of the bedroom, for example, and in the back seat of the car or in a hotel room), as well as books and sex education videos to find new techniques.

How does sex therapy work?

Sex therapy is like any type of psychotherapy , where you treat the condition by talking about your experiences, concerns, and feelings together with your therapist, then work on coping mechanisms to help improve your responses in the future so that you can have a longer sex life. healthy.

During your initial appointments, your therapist will speak only to you and your partner together, he will be there to guide you and help you process your current challenge: They are not there to side with one person or to help persuade anyone, you will not have sex with anyone or show anyone how to have sex.

With each session, your therapist will continue to push you for better management and acceptance of your concerns that may lead to sexual dysfunction, all talk therapy, including sex therapy, is both a supportive and educational environment. It is meant to provide comfort and encouragement for change, you will likely leave your therapist’s office with homework and work to do before your next appointment.

If he suspects that the dysfunction you are experiencing is the result of physical sexual concern, he may refer you to a doctor. Your therapist and doctor can discuss your signs and symptoms and work to help find any physical concerns that may be contributing to further sexual problems.

How does sex therapy help in relationships?

1. Help couples talk about sex with each other. A sex therapist is comfortable talking about sex, while nothing is forbidden and there is nothing taboo to talk about, most people have trouble coming up with something when it comes to sex. Couples do not have an erotic language to describe their desires, women do not talk to their friends about how they renew their sexual desire, and men do not ask their friends how to bring a woman to orgasm.

Most doctors don’t even have a day of sex therapy training in medical school, even gynecologists and urologists. Doctors speak highly of how the body works, but are limited by their own experience when it comes to solving sexual problems. They are aware of how anxious you would feel talking about this intimate topic with each other and with a stranger. They will help you feel comfortable and guide you through talking about sex.

2. Sex therapy gets to the root of the problem. Couples cannot resolve these intimate matters on their own because disappointment, pain, anger, resentment, accusations, inhibition, and several rounds of confrontations may have closed the discussion that was most needed.

Research shows that most people who could have easily solved their problems wait six years before seeking help, anxiety is the main reason people do not pick up and ask for help, fear of facing the problem and finding out that They really are not compatible is so powerful that it takes longer and longer to feel hopeless, but more often than not, a couple in sex therapy will find a way to feel more pleasure and more joy.

3. Sex therapists are hopeful and fair.   Sometimes one partner needs sex to feel connected and the other needs to feel connected before wanting to have sex. Both sides of the problems must be understood and worked out for a fair solution.

4. What kinds of problems do sex therapists treat? The two main problems are: low sexual desire and frequency disagreements between partners. Other problems are:

  • Women who want to have their first orgasm or want to orgasm with their partner.
  • Men with premature ejaculation.
  • Erectile dysfunction.
  • Delayed ejaculation.
  • Breast cancer and prostate cancer survivors.
  • Learn to enjoy oral sex.
  • Porn addiction or sex addiction.
  • Boring sex life.
  • Not attracted to your partner.
  • Inhibitions of all kinds.
  • Fetishes

How long does sex therapy take?

Three levels of problems take different durations of treatment.

Level 1 – Sexual orientation problems:  For example, a young woman who does not know how to have an orgasm usually lasts 2 sessions or less. Premature ejaculation is easily resolved before resentment arises.

Level 2 – Sexual problems entangled in the relationship: Most couples have sexual problems tied in the knot of their power struggle with each other. Sex serves as a perfect battlefield to resolve deeper questions about how close each one wants to feel and how much autonomy they want to be granted in marriage or partner, this takes at least 15 weeks, 6 months and involves marriage counseling. or couples counseling as well.

Level 3: trauma, childhood stories of neglect or abuse, difficulties feeling connected to anyone. The resulting sexual problems can take years to resolve, not all people need years or therapy to have a happy sex life, but some do, depending on who the abuser was, how long it lasted, and if there was violence. Feelings of sexual death are a defensive pattern of childhood vows to never trust one’s primitive needs and need longer therapeutic treatment.


Georgia Tarrant
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Hello, how are you? My name is Georgia Tarrant, and I am a clinical psychologist. In everyday life, professional obligations seem to predominate over our personal life. It's as if work takes up more and more of the time we'd love to devote to our love life, our family, or even a moment of leisure.